| Does love need money to flourish, or is a tighter | | | | Less money requires more creativity to thrive on |
| and deeper connection made when a relationship | | | | a daily basis. And that creativity flourishes with |
| must make do with fewer economic resources? | | | | cooperation. Partners depend on each other when |
| Ask a roomful of people and you'll hear passionate | | | | there are fewer financial resources to smooth the |
| arguments on both sides. Must we all agree? | | | | road. If you can't hire it out, you have to do it |
| Maybe not. But what about the two partners in a | | | | yourself, often together. |
| relationship? | | | | Monetary constraints may also demand that you |
| The following are true stories that may illuminate | | | | reuse, replace, enhance, repair, borrow, and make |
| some possibilities (used with permission; names | | | | do with what you have. All of these can lead to |
| changed). | | | | innovative thinking and great personal satisfaction |
| Jody misses the days when her boyfriend was | | | | when you discover what you can achieve by |
| able to wine and dine her several times a week at | | | | exercising your mind. |
| events he was expected to attend for work. She | | | | - Deeply-considered action evolves into |
| is an enthusiastic socializer and jumped at the | | | | thoughtfulness throughout life: |
| chance to enjoy the elegant galas. | | | | Vacations and fine restaurants where all is taken |
| Peter, naturally shy, was glad to have her at his | | | | care of for you require little cooperation and |
| side. She greased the wheels of conversation with | | | | negotiation. With unlimited budgets, you can throw |
| her naturally-ebullient personality, and presented | | | | it out and start over again. That perspective may |
| him with easy schmoozing opportunities that were | | | | begin with material things and migrate to people. |
| virtually risk-free. | | | | But limitations encourage ingenuity and |
| It was a match made in Heaven. | | | | well-considered actions. Every decision really does |
| Then Peter switched industries to do what he | | | | count. This leads to more talk time, think time, |
| loved. He was thrilled with the intimate alone time | | | | and aligning of priorities. |
| to hang out, cook together and simply talk, | | | | Cooperation and interdependence can grow into |
| meandering from one subject to another. | | | | deeper friendship and love. |
| Unfortunately, Jody's perspective was that their | | | | - Effort promotes appreciation: |
| dating life had become mundane. She missed the | | | | Good old-fashioned teamwork means you work |
| busy-ness, socializing with new people, dress- ups | | | | together on shared goals, share insights and |
| and the fantasy. For the first time, she realized | | | | resources, and reap rewards jointly. Ever see a |
| that Peter was a quiet man who most enjoyed | | | | team at work that just got through a tough |
| his inner world, and often didn't speak for hours | | | | project well? Camaraderie and loyalty deepens. |
| when deep in thought or buried in a book. | | | | It's the same for a love relationship. Talk out the |
| The relationship ended just three months after | | | | challenges, pool your talents, support each other's |
| Peter declared he finally had his dream life. | | | | efforts, and enjoy the rewards together. Trust |
| Todd and Gary had the opposite situation. A | | | | and love will grow by leaps and bounds. |
| downturn in both their financial situations forced | | | | - Romance and friendship are free: |
| them to cut back on travel, fine dining, and | | | | In abundant times, people entertain themselves |
| expensive hobbies. They were not at all pleased. | | | | by using physical and monetary resources. In |
| But they found that their new, lower-paying jobs | | | | leaner times, they must amuse themselves with |
| gave them more time together. The change in | | | | inborn talents, skills, and humor. Cooperation is |
| budget encouraged simpler evenings and closer | | | | needed for everyone's wellbeing. |
| ties with old friends, and intimacy deepened. | | | | Friends, acquaintances and even neighbors chip in |
| Relationships often flourish during a financial | | | | money, advice, homegrown entertainment to |
| downturn, as long as the new situation doesn't | | | | amuse each other and keep body and spirit alive. |
| involve great struggle to maintain even basic | | | | They need each other, so they share. (Ask |
| necessities: a decent place to live, adequate food | | | | parents or grandparents about the Depression. |
| and medical care, some leisure activities, time with | | | | You may be surprised at how joyful memories |
| friends. | | | | mingled with difficult circumstances.) |
| In fact, it may take effort to keep the newfound | | | | The good news is that you don't need to be poor |
| connectedness intact once financial reserves grow | | | | for life. Many wealthy people experienced periods |
| again, but isn't that effort worth the reward? | | | | when luxuries were nonexistent. Some bring that |
| And learnings acquired in these circumstances can | | | | consciousness to their affluent lives later. |
| keep a relationship close, fresh, and thriving for | | | | Appreciation, gratitude, deep understanding of |
| the rest of the time the couple is together. | | | | others, and generosity often result. |
| Why? | | | | In lean times, learn to have a good life with less. |
| Several reasons may account for it: | | | | In fat times, recall those lessons, adding the |
| - More cooperation is required: | | | | luxuries that you truly love and continue to |
| Simple lifestyles that satisfy do require thought | | | | appreciate what is modest, simple, and human. |
| and planning, and the requisite cooperation breeds | | | | ©2008 by Wendy Lapidus-Saltz. All rights |
| intimacy and trust. | | | | reserved. |
| - More creativity is demanded: | | | | |