If I Could Meet Myself For Lunch

Today you are you, that is truer than true. ThereTV show where the audio doesn't match the
is no one alive who is you-er than you -Dr. Seussvideo and the mouths move moments before the
There is something about the end of a year thatactual words come out. Timing is everything.
causes one to look to the past and try to findWe'd talk about our mutual interests of course,
meaning in the time that's already gone by.our darling baby grandson and why See's candy is
Perhaps it helps us prepare for the future, orthe only chocolates worth eating. I'd hope I
reassures as that we have done more thanwouldn't be too pushy with my opinions, and I
breath, eat and sleep for the past twelve months.might play devil's advocate just to see how I
It's a time for reflection and self-evaluation.respond when someone disagrees with me. Of
The main problem I find when trying to analyzecourse, I'd probably see right through that ploy,
my life, is that I'm doing it from the confines ofbut still it would be fun to try.
my own head. This is certainly a biased angle, butMaybe we'd check out the handsome waiters,
it's the only perspective I posses.and reminisce about how young we use to be.
I wrote a book one time where the mainWould I agree with myself that we still feel
character dies during the first chapter, and I triedtwenty deep, deep inside where no one can see?
to imagine what it would look like to see myselfAnd would we both cringe at that embarrassing
from the perspective of a detached spirit. Would Ithing we did when we were single and still chasing
recognize my own body from that angle? Andboys?
would that slack muscle thing that comes afterI hope I'd be polite, and even though I already
death causing the body to cave in slightly makeknow all my stories by heart, I'd listen to them
identifying my lifeless corpse even moreagain without interrupting and smile and nod in all
challenging?the right places. I'd like myself more that way I'm
Having never died, I can't really say for sure, but Isure. And I'd offer to pick up the bill, even though
assumed that seeing myself dead on the groundI know I would never allow myself to pay for me
would be a somewhat surreal experience. And notand we'd end up splitting the bill.
one that I would be drawn to fantasize about. ButAs I sat across from myself, could I offer honest
what if I could meet myself alive, perhaps sitconstructive criticism of how I could be a better
across the table at an Applebee's, share anperson, and would I be able to take it in the spirit
appetizer and make conversation. Now that wouldit was meant? Or would I find it hard to be
be an experience worth imagining indeed.truthful about my weaknesses and get defensive
Would I see myself, the way I look in thewhen I brought it up?
bathroom mirror lit by those special bulbs thatWhen it was time to leave, I think I'd be sad
make your skin glow like a twenty-year-old girl inabout the separation, until I remembered that it's
love, or would the multiple layers of chin that I tryme, and we're always together. And then I would
not to notice each morning as I brush my hair,be glad to know I always have someone with me
leap out like a crumpled paper bag around mywho totally understands how I feel.
neck?So the next time I got too hard on myself or
I hope I'd like my smile or the way I try to lookbecame internally abusive, I could remember what
attentive when someone else is speaking. Noa great person I am and how much fun I am to
doubt we would both laugh at the same funnybe with, and I'd realize I need to treat myself
stories, and that's important. I once quit dating awith kindness and patience.
young man because it took him nearly thirtyAnd every now and then, I should meet myself
seconds to get my jokes and another ten tofor lunch.
come up with a polite laugh. It was like watching a