Those Deadly Deadlines

ck hurts and head throbs. The lights are tooI take a few minutes to make myself
bright; the temperature too cold. Is it the flu?comfortable on the couch before I realize my
Some as-yet unnamed dread disease? No,laptop is in the other room. Sighing, I flip through
it’s just that it’s already 8 p.m. onthe channels and find a movie with Humphrey
a Sunday and I have a deadline for my weeklyBogart. I’ve seen it before, of course, but
column in a short twelve hours.feel it will inspire my writing. Yes, I think as I lean
I have asked writers I’ve met over theback, munching my way through Jarlsburg and
years how they feel about the bane of mycrackers, some black and white inspiration will turn
existence: deadlines.my scattered thoughts and incomplete notes into
“I love deadlines. They keep mea column for the ages.
motivated,” one giddy writer told me.Soon, too soon, I go find my laptop and start
Another squealed, “I love writing so muchwriting. An introductory paragraph stalls so I dive
that I’m always turning in assignmentsstraight into the appetizers - pan seared scallops,
two weeks before they are due!”cold lobster salad, carpaccio. Closing my eyes I
Sheer insanity, I think, as I flip through thesee the table as it was spread before us on
television channels. Who can be happy at theFriday night. I relive the tastes and inhale the
thought of a looming deadline? I look at the clock;scents of the evening. Ah, I’m in heaven.
8:30 p.m. Still time to have a snack and maybeI open one eye to peer at the clock. If I go to
read a chapter in that new mystery. By 9bed now, I can wake at 5 and finish it before
o’clock, with full tummy and unable to finddeadline.
that novel, I pick up a notepad.My husband, a newspaper editor, has a
“Duck confit, mixed berry coulis, a side ofjoke,“ A deadline is what you hear when
mixed greens wilted with a bacon fat and vinegaran editor hangs up on you.“ For me
dressing, and roasted parsnips.” The mealdeadlines are more deadly than that. I agonize, I
was eaten two nights ago, but I’m justmoan out loud waking my snoring dog. My chest
now forcing myself to write the notes I’llis tight, my throat dry.
use to weave my restaurant review.“Give yourself a false deadline of two
Week in, week out, who can blame me fordays before the article is due.”
stalling? A seven course meal here, a take-out“Rejoice over deadlines for they mean
lunch there - each week I have to pen 1000you have paying work.”
words about some meal eaten at someNone of that works for me. I breathe deeply. The
restaurant, week after week, year after year.appetizers and entrees are done. I just need to
And each Sunday evening I sit quaking in fearwrite up the desserts and slap on a conclusion,
that the words won’t flow.rate the restaurant and give a snappy farewell. I
Hmm, writing about the duck has made metake a deep breath and dive in, racing through the
hungry again. I wander into the kitchen, wash upmolten chocolate cake and the three star rating.
some dishes, open the fridge, close it again, andIt’s not even midnight!
try to decide what I want. A cup of tea? AI pour myself a glass of wine with congratulations
chocolate something? Cheese and crackers? I fixfor a job well done.
all three and head back to the living room whereNow, that deadline wasn’t so bad, was it?
I’ve decided to write my review.